dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
