Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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