i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
