Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
