just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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