i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You are a genius and a whore.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
