There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
