So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
