your parents love me but you hate me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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