You're so nebulous sometimes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
