dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.