Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.

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  (775): I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK. http://tfl.nu/nxhd
  Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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  (412): my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR http://tfl.nu/zpxr
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool

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  (904): I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool http://tfl.nu/7zbx
  Replies (19) Good night (653) Bad night (5498)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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  (541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc
  Replies (12) Good night (525) Bad night (2784)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?

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  (312): so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion? http://tfl.nu/og9d
  Replies (97) Good night (1021) Bad night (8120)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.

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  (765): I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart. http://tfl.nu/xlbc
  Replies (37) Good night (6945) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.

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  (970): Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yvle
  Replies (12) Good night (743) Bad night (3501)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6906) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

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  (203): I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people http://tfl.nu/sj5w
  Replies (14) Good night (5443) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping

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  (216): Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping http://tfl.nu/0qth
  Replies (9) Good night (883) Bad night (3749)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK

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  (570): She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK http://tfl.nu/qbz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2837) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

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  (631): when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro. http://tfl.nu/xp1k
  Replies (4) Good night (1454) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

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  (847): Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos. http://tfl.nu/unc3
  Replies (16) Good night (1813) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.

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  (316): Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try. http://tfl.nu/jxdr
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"

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  (609): I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies... (1-609): You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award" http://tfl.nu/ecqm
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (341)

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