Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.