Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

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  (405): I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation. http://tfl.nu/os3u
  Replies (13) Good night (4618) Bad night (1294)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

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  (602): So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby. http://tfl.nu/ia9y
  Replies (46) Good night (3879) Bad night (1631)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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  (651): He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb. http://tfl.nu/9exx
  Replies (215) Good night (1116) Bad night (3863)
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  (949): View more from California

  Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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  (949): Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life http://tfl.nu/meh0
  Replies (12) Good night (4208) Bad night (1071)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea

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  (517): drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea http://tfl.nu/z8sz
  Replies (29) Good night (3824) Bad night (1894)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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  (732): You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name. http://tfl.nu/cvf5
  Replies (18) Good night (6646) Bad night (1288)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

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  (412): Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country. http://tfl.nu/04vq
  Replies (18) Good night (5891) Bad night (975)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

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  (862): She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone http://tfl.nu/c8bq
  Replies (9) Good night (3580) Bad night (780)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit

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  (815): I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit http://tfl.nu/a7ne
  Replies (13) Good night (985) Bad night (600)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?

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  (859): it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone? http://tfl.nu/jw1z
  Replies (7) Good night (883) Bad night (559)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life

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  (970): I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life http://tfl.nu/g4bg
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (728)
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  (442): View more from California

  Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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  (442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (1353)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.

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  (630): come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone. http://tfl.nu/o5uy
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.

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  (412): Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats. http://tfl.nu/9v9s
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?

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  (503): Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple? http://tfl.nu/ih8q
  Replies (5) Good night (285) Bad night (605)

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