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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?

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• (415): View more from California

  Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  ‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."

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