three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
