I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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