I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
