the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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