Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
