I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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