I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
