but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
