how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
