This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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