I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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