He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
