i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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