how can u be prego again
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
