Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I want a musical about memes.
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