Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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