im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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