My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
