she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
