Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize