But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
