Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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