Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
