My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
