Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
