Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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