I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
