Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
