It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can I color on your dick again?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
