I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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