he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
