Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
