So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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