you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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