after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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