Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
only you would photoshop your dick
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize