We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
