Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
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he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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