"it" just moved
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
