2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
