I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can I color on your dick again?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
