I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
