I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I will pee on everything he values.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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