Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
