i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
