Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
