I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
