dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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