so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize